Twenty Twenty, never again
Its 11:44pm on new years eve and there is a huge party happening next door. I am netflixing and trying to chill by myself in my apartment and then i hear the iconic coffin dance song, a certain DJ’s creation that became the tune that was placed on the viral video of the ghanian pallbearers dancing with a coffin. For a second, I felt my heart skip a beat and my mild anxiety was slowly growing into a full blown panic attack. The song quickly changed to another afrobeat tune that I cannot recall and I began to feel calmer.
Why was I having a panic attack on New years eve? I am very sure it had something to do with the fact that i felt that i was sabotaging my own progress, hence the ability for the viral coffin dance song to trigger me.
2020 was really hard for me, I struggled through most of it and it almost makes the good times non existent but it was an okay year overall, i mean. . . I am not sure if this is supposed to be my year in review or whatnot but I know that writing out my thoughts helps me focus on the right things and feel calmer.
It is not a great thing to feel like an imposter for most of the year, considering the fact that I have a full time job and still got to handle other design projects. One would conclude that if I did not know what I was doing in my Job, I would be out of a job by now. It begs the question, does anyone really know what they are doing?
I have a project to complete at work and a few designs to complete on another thing i am working on but instead focusing on those things to get them out before the new year, i am writing an article whose purpose i am not sure i understand.
Do you sometimes feel like your life would be a lot better if you did what you needed to do when you said you would or am I just a psychopath? (should this section be here?)
My life is in my hands, my progress depends on me but on days like today, I would rather it does not. I would rather be in my lover’s arms, drinking wine and without a worry in the world. I am not sure where I get these lofty ideas from though, considering the fact that I indeed turned down an offer to be with the one I still love who isn’t good for me.
Rihanna said and i paraphrase
“Cheers to the freakin’ New year
I’ll eat to that, yeah-e-yeah
Oh, let the ice-cream sink in
I’ll eat to that, yeah-e-yeah
Don’t let the bastards get you down
Turn it around with another snack”
I am really surprised that you made it this far considering that i put this together in under 30minutes and i am not a writer like that. Thank you for reading but i especially thank me for writing.
In 2021, I plan to write more articles that will be thought provoking and insanely long. Sorry but not sorry.
CHEERS TO THE NEW YEAR
